No government services. If anyone lets on that raising their kids isnt all rainbows and precious moments and is sometimes downright demoralizing, other people automatically assume that the venting parents are terrible, ungrateful and hate their kids. GOOD FOR YOU!! Dont be swayed by this one writers POV. If you can love and accept your child as he or she is it will show through. By not telling the truth about what its like to live with a child with severe autism, its painting an inaccurate picture and quite frankly, its counter productive. Is hard. You have nerve picking on a person for having an overwhelming day and sharing her feelings. It sounds like she had a hopeful day planned out for her kid, felt that he was ready, and couldnt wait to see his happiness, then when it went downhill it really sunk in how bad his disability is and she felt that she had failed him. The basic human conversation skills and accumulated knowledge of science/history/algebra are all simply beyond his understanding. Some school programs offer various degrees of mainstreaming, in which autistic children spend time in regular classrooms. How DARE you dehumanize your son, how DARE you dehumanize Autistic people. I am an autistic adult, I avoided the Autism world for a long time because I could not cope with how many times I felt hated by some parents. Do you need to paint autism as rainbows and sunshine? Please apologize to this mama (and all the other ones out there) for telling her not to speak her voice. Search #ActuallyAutistic hashtags and find Kristy forbes on Instagram and follow her! Please feel free to submit articles to enhance the knowledge Cute list. This is the first step to know whether what youre about to share is over the line. However, we should also 100% respect the battle fatigue that parents of children on the spectrum face from caring for their child in an NT world. Autism at the very least requires significantly more support than it currently receives. He also deals with Chiari Malformation and Red Ear Syndrome. I do my best but there is only so much I can do. If shaming others is wrong then please dont shame literal children to their face for something outside of their control. You commenters are nasty, horrid people if you think its all right to vent publiclyabout your disabled children. My son just turned three in January, he has SPD, possible ADHD, and is being re-evaluated for ASD. NO it would NOT be. No one elses. Its the broadcasting of something private to her and her son. What I didn't know initially is my daughter is one of the 5 to 16% of school-aged children with sensory processing disorders (SPD), and she's overstimulated by the clothing on her body. YOU DONT KNOW. Facebook nowadays is a cesspool of narcissistic boomers, sl*ts, anti-vaxxers, white supremacists, conspiracy weirdos and other human trash, so posting a public video shaming your disabled children there means that youre not different from them. People NEED people. You are not in her shoes, and you clearly have no idea what its like to live with a severely autistic individual. She makes it SO MUCH HARDER for the world to accept my kids as they are. Obviously she has never had to walk in the same shoes as the other parent but will judge her anyways. Im heartbroken for the years unnecessary pain for all of us but we are so good now! They say they love their kids but its conditional. Yall need to start treating your severely Autistic children with basic human rights, privacy, and respect. And doing it openly and publicly on the Internet is neither. Take heart. Their kids still have PTSD, no matter how lovingly they were abused. This is our first child, her therapy is not free or covered we live, we are spending over 90K in CAD per year. Im pretty sure every parent has had a rant about their childrens behaviour before! Is she not allowed to have one? You dont have the relevant experience. Im not complaining about this; Im broken.BROKEN. Some of you really need to do some research and defer to the autistic community because you are making autistic people look like monsters. If you choose to have children, you are opening yourself up to having a whole range of children and this really should have been made clear before you start. Watching your child headbang, scratch, bite, punch themselves for a reason we cant explain, and the helpless feeling of watching that without being able to stop it unless using restraints and emergency medications to sedate. Hes making a pretty clear statement, tbh. She should clarify that this does NOT apply to level 3 autism, the most severe, as the DSM does. Point is why are they never mentioned? Due to Covid and the massive regression our family has faced with the eldest to the author, Go Fuck Yourself. People may well read this and say your not like my child or Youre too high functioning (both of which are irrelevant, its a judgement based on typed words, they dont know me and even if those things were to be correct, they do not make my words or the other persons childs experience any less valid) but some parents need to think about what they say and put out there. Why dont you self-righteous, toxic parents support your autistic kids and let them be themselves, rather than complaining about how horrible your life is? We dont know if hell be able to regain the losses he has experienced once he has school again. Who in the world would want to have this struggle? So much! Make it clear that you care about what's bothering them, even if you don't know what it is. Doctors and nurses cant help because there is literally nothing they can do to make it better. To be so disrespectful of anothers choices on how she helps educate the world on the MANY FACES of autism, and those who love them yours, your childs, my child, Coopers mother, me we all have the right to feel how we feel and share what we feel comfortable sharing as THAT CAN HELP OTHER FAMILIES. Its not wrong for an autistic child but okay for a neurotypical child. The first time I was hospitalized for suicide, I was eighteen years old. So just stop. Now, as promised, there are ways to vent without causing harm to your child and other autistic people. You are not wrong, but you said it WRONG. People like YOU should be shamed, not US for trying to educate you on how to actually not dehumanize your child, or US. Little to no furniture in your home because its been destroyed by your Severe ASD child, so the bedrooms are left with little more than mattresses and blankets, because anything else may be a potential danger. If you have something to say to Kate, say it to her instead of bashing her. There is this thing called Personal Boundaries, and the mother in the video and all these commenters defending her, dont understand what that is. Dont you think if he could change anything that he would? I know living with an autistic child is hard sometimes- if its hard all the time- to the extremes it is with you and your family its past time for help. I used to follow the blog of a woman who filmed her sons rages. However, even on my worst day, I would NEVER post one of his meltdowns online! Keep in mind this too. Can you imagine reading this out loud to your child? They have no idea what struggles you are going through, or what sorrow you feel. Many autism-related organizations treat autistic children like burdens and spread the rhetoric of abuse. Find positive support groups, such as Parenting Autistic Children with Love and Acceptance. Its not the same. Every autistic person is different. Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Surely you jest. Stop shaming the moms of severely autistic kids. Some children on the autistic spectrum do have behaviours that are just not compatible with home life but I'm sure you are doing a great job. Lets see how happy you remain when your kid kills your pets, destroys everything you love or hold dear, smears feces on everything in the home including your face, ruins all interaction around you with his tantrums and physically attacks you or anyone for no reason. So what do you do if you cant go vent to the whole internet world? I know it can feel very lonely but your not alone Brittany. I know she feels my ambivalence. How they hope and pray for a cure? My family couldnt cope with me anymore living at home and I now live in supported accommodation. The inability to communicate, meltdowns, need for structure can look exactly the same even though a person may be able to fake NT from time to time. Therapies such as RDI and RPM can help them engage more. How utterly ironic that you dare accuse the author of lacking empathy and describing that as her autism talking when your comments are horrendously offensive and lacking in insight. Good or bad labels! Even people who are just looking for a sentimental video, but dont have one autistic in their lives themselves. Im sure there are good moms with dozens of kids but this writer seems to dont have a human heart. Oh you are high functioning like me so you can probably wipe your own ass & pay your own bills? Luckily its only moms who have feelings. How about how the baby gets minimal sleep because his sister never sleeps, the melatonin doesnt work, and doctors refuse to do anything else about it? She is NOT complaining about her child. High and low functioning? A LACK of empathy. What is even more upsetting than the article (not an article, but opinion piece) is that it has been shared 20K times it is great to support a person w/ autisms SELF-advocacy, but spreading hate and disinformation that ALL autism isnt a debilitating condition, is not a medical mystery to be solved ? Raising an autistic child is literally hell on earth, no two ways around it. She tells HER story. I wonder why is this so easy for other moms? Work with other caregivers and teachers so that everyone uses the same approach. I have a mod/severe autistic son and a neuro-typical son. My daughter is highly functioning, ADHD, epileptic and ODD. Anyone who tries to say autism is anything other than a living hell is either lying to themselves or lying to everyone else to make Themselves or others feel better. This is the most selfish article Ive ever read. Just because your life is manageable with your perfect authistic kid and 4 normal kids, does not mean it is the same for the rest of us. You think you have the right to speak for autistics because they are non-verbal? This is part of the language learning process, so don't worry. It doesnt just affect the parents and the child. Not every autistic child is the kind you can just take to starbucks or out for lunch! That just means that autistic people have no worth in society unless they can mimic neurotypicals. No need to apologize for anything there .. Yep, everything. What right do you have to tell another parent how they should feel about their autistic child? Theres venting which needs to be done in an appropriate place, whether the child is neurotypical, autistic, or has ADHD. I was so annoyed all the time! When you are crying and saying stuff like that it means you feel defeated and at a loss and wish things were easier rather than accepting that your childs differences make them unique. Id give anything, painful as it would be, for him to be able to read even this BS and respond himself as to how messed up it is. The very fact that you wrote this tells me you have NO clue what severe autism is, or what it looks like. Censorship would be to try to take it down, removed from wherever it is. Im too smart to be Autistic. Or how we traumatize doctors and nurses because it takes 5 people to restrain her just so she can have a basic check up? That way, the disappointment wouldnt be so great. Guide to Legal Information for Families Affected by Autism from Goodwin Procter LLP. Dont police yourself when the time comes, youll break. Heres one for YOU, please stop Blogging YOUR Bullshit. Hey, im a teenager with autism and i find this mothers viral video so offensive. Ran across this post really desperate and I see both sides. Really? Parents need an outlet but it shouldnt be somewhere the child can Google for later in life. If they like stimming, try stimming with them you might see what they get out of it or work out youre just wired differently :p. Then dont be a part of those FB parents groups. Search the internet to see what substitutes autistic adults have found for their SIB. My son is nonverbal, aggressive, on meds and not toilet trained at 7. Esp for some lower functioning kids eg non verbal. There are plenty of schools now educational programs for your artistic kids, most of the kids at artistic today you cant even tell because theyre in such great programs. Melody, your comments are completely lacking in empathy and understanding. Yeah, I bet. My toddler doesnt eat on his own, he can not speak, he is violent, he screams as a form of communication, he likes to eat his poop, he bites and pinches and everything sets off a melt down. Take yourself out for a Starbucks coffee to clear your head. She will help you so much!! So your child isnt going to be a football star or a cheerleader. Divorces due to the stress breaking down every relationship you have. I truly do hope that you are going to therapy and again I am saying this with respect for a fellow woman and mother. Ableism (yes, even from parents) is the issue. Since covid, there is no escape for her into a normal school environment. Symptoms associated with being unable to control emotions include: being overwhelmed by feelings. Its okay to be rock bottom, and if you dont have or dont know how to get resources, it feels like the world is crushing you. AS someone whos autism was so hidden I wasnt even diagnosed until 31, I can tell you it wasnt easy for me or my parents. Remember he cherry picked the severely autistic to go die at the gas chamber and keep the HF autistic alive for research? Older autistic people are able to communicate their experiences with burnout in a way toddlers can't. Adults have reported symptoms such as: Increased sensitivity to sensory stimuli, such as . (My sons therapy just from age 2 to 6 was not reimbursed by insurance and cost us the equivalent of a house or a college education at Harvard!). I cry, because this is not what I wanted. That is wrong. Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 68,833 times. If they ask for help, need assistance, or need to vent and talk to someone else who shares their same story? 3. Austitic mama mantra seems to be Out of sight, out mind, I actually loved this post! . Provide the child with tools to self-soothe, such as sensory toys, calming books or videos, weighted blankets, a swing set, or even a pet. Your post is the most discriminatory and ableist thing Ive read in a while. All yall do is talk over them and dont listen to their struggles. But his cousins probably will. I KNOW I was. Some of the best sources of vitamin B6 include sunflower seeds, pistachio nuts, fish, poultry, pork, beef, prunes, raisins, bananas, avocados, and spinach. No matter what, our kids deserve dignity and respect, even in our worst moments. Why does it look like they do it like a breeze. She has so much love for her child, you can see it in all her videos. Autistic children need to know that self-harm is not appropriate or allowed, that you will always be there to help them handle it. When I have 27-33 kids in one room it is basically impossible meet the needs of every student let alone the students with austim. 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